He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
