Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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