He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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