I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
