I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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