Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Are we still banned from the library?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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