I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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