why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
