No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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