I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
