We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
