I looked at my own cervix.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
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You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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