So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
