If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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