We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
