I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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