I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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