also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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