is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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