Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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