This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
