I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
