she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
