It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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