your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Randomize
