After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
