he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
