I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
