There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
