This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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