i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize