butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
We got so high we made milksteak
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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