what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
