This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Can I color on your dick again?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize