I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
and you fell through a lawn chair
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
