Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
