I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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