Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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