yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
