margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
