this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
