Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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