You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
