Where is the hickey?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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