he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
