I feel like I'm in dance class right now
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
