He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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