if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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