You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
