Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.