I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
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I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it