I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
