can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?