those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
