Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize