my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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