I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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