dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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