I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
