don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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