so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
