sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
handjob tips. give me some.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
